Southampton 0 Everton 1

Last updated : 22 April 2002 By Christian Kelly
If you expect me to try and write a match report after that rubbish, you can forget about it. Why should I waste any more of my time after travelling to see a truly dreadful performance. The players obviously couldn't care less about winning their remaining fixtures, why should I ?

Oh all right then...

With relegation and Europe beyond Saturday's teams it was difficult to picture how the game would go. Would the players respond to their manager's wishes and fight for every point in the league, or would they be looking ahead to their holidays and put in lack-lustre performances.

Unfortunately it was the later. Anyone who thinks that Southampton are European contenders with the current squad should carry around a video of this game. As always Saints go completely missing as soon as safety, and in their eyes their jobs, is secured.

I optimistically thought that Strachan would be the man to turn this culture round. He isn't, at least not this season. He, along with the fans must have been very embarrassed by the team's performance.

As for the match itself, there were precious few chances. Delap shot wide early on for Saints, while Everton had a better opportunity with Unsworth getting the ball towards Chadwick at the edge of the box. Paul Jones was alert enough to come out and gather early.

Chadwick's recent form didn't continue as far as half time as he was injured in a penalty box melee and had to be helped off the park.

Saints created little, seemingly intent in pushing the ball around their midfield. Gerard had to clear the ball from Pahars who had picked up a Beattie knockdown. Paul Jones had to punch the ball clear of Kevin Campbell after a poor pass form Lundekvam allowed Everton to launch an attack.

 Everton got the opening and decisive goal. Steve Watson starting the Everton move off . Upon getting the return pass he chipped the ball left footed over Jones and into the net. Jo Tessem will undoubtedly get the blame for this one but  I think that the rest of the defence should take their share of criticism too.

Saints only chance to equalise before half time fell to Pahars, who sliced his shot.

Saints looked edgy at the back, absent in midfield and clueless up front.

Saints started the second half more positively, presumably down to a few choice words form Strachan at half time. Delap's shot was blocked by Unsworth and Fernandes' cross evading Pahars and Telfer. 

Saints looked as though they couldn't get a shot in on target if they had stayed there all summer, which would be an adequate punishment for their effort. Pahars managed to get a ball down but again found his way blocked by Weir. At the other end Radzinski showed how it should be done, his effort bringing out some work from the goalkeeper; Jones putting the ball over his bar. Remaining Saints highlights were a desperate 30 yard effort form Delap and and effort from Beattie, both of which were comfortably blocked before troubling the Everton 'keeper.

Of the Saints players only Bridge and perhaps Telfer emerged with anything resembling credit. The rest were utterly clueless. Delap will be watching the World Cup on the TV on this showing. There's no way he deserves to be in a Republic squad after that inept showing. Dodd looked cumbersome, Lundekvam looked as though he hadn't regained his match fitness, his inclusion must have annoyed Tahar who had played well in Lundekvam's absence. Up front Beattie was back to his donkey routine and Pahars looked out of sorts, not helped by the fact he doesn't seem to get 90 minutes on the park anymore. I keep expecting a lot more from Svensson and Fernandes, but as yet I'm disappointed. Hopefully next season will enable them to show what they can do. As far as Saints are concerned this season has already finished.

Apologies for the disjointed report this week, but after watching such a dreadful game, it's all I can do to write anything at all.

Good points - Strachan with more great touchline comedy... erm, that's it really.
Mental Note - Never see Saints play as soon as safety is reached. I they can't be bothered, neither can I


Please don't bother to discuss this match on the  messageboard. Instead, get very drunk in the hope that the game will be forever erased form your memory.