Saint Shearer award for use of sporting cliché

Last updated : 07 October 2005 By Chris C

The award is in honour of legendary former Saint Alan Shearer’s mastery of cliché to deflect even the most direct of media grillings. Saints fans were lucky enough to witness the emergence of his prolific talent during his time on the south coast with the great man managing a hatrick of clichés in the interview that followed his debut for Saints.

Shearer’s ability with microphone in front of face soon brought a move to the bright lights of Blackburn and now Newcastle where he forms part of an unparalleled double act with Mr Straight Bat himself Michael Owen.

Fortunately, in the age of media training for all footballers, Shearer’s legacy lives on, as footballers jostle to provide the blandest cliché to render mundane even the most lively of discussions.

Sinner Shearer award

Clearly Marian Pahars has been out of the game for too long, as he committed a school boy error on his long-awaited return to the Saints side. So moved was he by the reception of the St. Mary’s faithful that he let himself down by actually showing some genuine emotion.

“The fans in Southampton have always been great with me (so far so good, Marian – ed), but to hear the welcome that I got on Wednesday was a special moment. I know you are supposed to be happy about those things but it nearly made me cry! (Easy now) The fans were absolutely unbelievable and even back home people don’t treat me like that. I was sat in the dug-out and my body was shaking. I have never experienced anything like that.”

Wonderful stuff from the Latvian wizard, but no way to earn a coveted Saint Shearer award.

Honourable mention

Harry Redknapp showed his years of experience have paid off with his use of one of the all-time classic clichés to describe the performance of the team against Preston as a ‘game of two halves’. Textbook stuff from the veteran.

Saint Shearer award for October

It took a true captain’s performance to earn the first ever Saint Shearer award. Nigel Quashie has been Saints’ leader on the field this season with a series of dominant displays. After the Reading result he showed he is a man of many talents with a string of clichés reminiscent of the great Shearer himself.

He started well: “We had so many chances, it was one-way traffic and we should have won. We missed chance after chance but that cannot go on. Someone will be on the back of a hiding sooner or later. (This is more like it)

“Maybe we just need one to go in off someone's backside (nice) because we are playing really well. ...They will be there or thereabouts (kerching) again this time round and they will be up for it tomorrow.”

Great stuff from the Saints captain who has set the standard that others will find hard to match.